Dear Carolyn: Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group... OK. I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners ... I do all those things, too. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events); I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and
enjoy, but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a contest ("my life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks have the same questions. — Tacoma, Wash.
Dear Tacoma: Relax and enjoy. You're funny.
Or, you're lying about having friends with kids. Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some
keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.So, because it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, cleaned, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library;
to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too
hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces checkout-line screaming.
It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.
It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.
It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.
It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything — language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.
It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand, or keep your snit to yourself.
First of all, Tacoma has a very legitimate question. She says her other friends with no kids are asking the same question. You can be a child psychologist, childcare worker, teacher, or work with kids in any other type of profession, but if you don't have kids, one really has no idea the constant demands of having children.Second of all, although I appreciate her legitimizing all those parents out there, especially our stay-at-home-moms, but should our kids really be an excuse for not keeping in contact with our friends? Tacoma says it was her "Best Friend!" What kind of best friend just dumps her friend because she is busy with her kids?
Now, I have two boys, and I have stayed at home with them and I have worked full time and I can absolutely attest to the fact that just getting time to yourself is like a diamond - so difficult to find and yet so valuable when in possession. But, did her friend say she went to the park, library, museum, walk with her kids? Does she go to the zoo or Sea World on Saturdays? Does she walk to the store on Sundays? Now why did she not invite her friend? Of course her friend eats, so why doesn't she invite her best-friend-with-no-kids over for dinner? What is wrong with that? She could talk to her why she folds clothes, she could text her while she is in the museum, she could invite her along to those weekend events. Sure, "hanging out" doesn't look the same as it did pre-kids, but we can invite our friends into our lives oppose to pushing them away saying that there lives are just not the same as the other people lives anymore. Tacoma is reaching out! She does want to know, otherwise she wouldn't have written the letter.
Before I was married, my friends who got married before me often would exclude me from their lives. I was even in a wedding and called her a month later and she said, "Sharon, I'm married now, I don't have time for you anymore." Let's not be friends with people just out of convenience, because you are both single, both married, both have kids, both divorced. Let's keep our friends for life. It takes effort and creatively, but if they are up for it then they will join in too. How fun is it when everyone looks the same and does the same thing? Not as fun. Let's be faithful to our friends and just think what a great example you will be for your kids to also be faithful to their friends no matter what.What are your thoughts on the issue? How do you keep up with your friendships?
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I agree with you, Sharon! We need to keep our friendships, esp. because they are our support and at times the only seemingly 'normal' thing in our lives. It's so important to have friends, especially for women. I've read studies on it...it keeps the stress levels down. I have tried to make arrangements to see different friends at least every 2 months, either for coffee or lunch or even inviting them over for dinner. Sometimes it only works out that we connect by phone or email but we catch up on eachother's lives and each know that the other is thinking about them. Since I moved recently and have a few friends that I may never see again or only see every couple of years, I also try to call or email them to keep in touch- to see how and what they're doing. I also value my older friends. I have had a couple of friends in their 70's and a friend now in her 90's. They so enrich our lives in ways different than our other friends do. My 23 year old daughter has many friends that are married and former mentors that are married with children. They all see eachother as often as they can and I think it's great! I'm thinking that it's good to hang out with girlfriends who don't have children. We are probably less likely to discuss our children with them and more likely to just be a woman/girl with them - putting our crazy lives behind us and just enjoying eachother.
ReplyDeleteI don't have kids, however, many of my closest friends do have children and we still hang out (not as much) but we still find time for our friendship. I am grateful for their commitment to our friendship and the time the time we spend together. I even have a weekly commitment with one friend to watch our favorite reality show. Our show starts right after her little one goes to sleep so it works out great for both of us. I also realize I have not walked in the shoes of people who do have kids, so I can't say I understand how challenging it might be.
ReplyDeleteI get what she is trying to say; especially since I am not and never have been a phone person. But you know, you really can take a few moments to send an email. All you have to do is say "hi" and "I miss you". Dang...that's not even five minutes, you can even throw in a "how are you". Shoot, I am married and I'm a mom...I'm not dead. Mommyhood doesn't mean my life is exclusive to my husband and children. I make sure to email my friends at least weekly. And with myspace|facebook|et al., you really have no excuse for not staying in touch...well, other than maybe that you just don't want to. Which, imo, is a good excuse. lol
ReplyDeleteWho knows...maybe I can't talk because I'm not a SAHM. But I work full time; I get home and I happily relieve my husband (the SAHD) and engage our daughter until bedtime. But my husband says that he still talks to his friends every so often, and emails a few times a week.
Maintaining a friendship post-birth can be done. Your friends will understand that your chances to get together will be fewer and farther between; they will not understand if they become altogether non-existent. And who can blame them?
Wow. I am actually really surprised at the comments. I searched this article and everyone was responding on those other blogs with great cheers to Carolyn Hax's repremand of the sender. I just think she helped those moms not feel guilty for pushing away their friend for another day. One has got to think why when the kids leave the house so many people ask, "Where are my friends?" It takes constant nurture, even in small ways (like Sweetface mentioned). I think we all understand waves of busyness - but neglect is something else. (PS I'm not a phone person either.)
ReplyDeleteHave you ever had a phone conversation with kids in the house? It's almost impossible! Many, if not all the time, I lock myself in the bathroom or laundry room & hold the door shut as my children are crying or screaming for me on the other side while I "try" to have a conversation on the phone. And you think it's just that easy for me to pick up the phone & have a 30 min conversation with a friend when I can barely make a simple doctor appointment? And then the idea of inviting a friend to a museum? Going to a museum or library is about as much fun as going grocery shopping with kids. They run off, have to go to the bathroom constantly, need a drink of water every 5 minutes & are constantly getting or climbing on things they shouldn't. And let's not forget they WANT your attention especially as soon as they see you give it to someone else. So bringing a friend along would be futile. We wouldn't be able to have a conversation & we all know people without kids get annoyed by other people's kids! Yeah, that would be fun - not only trying to manage my kids but then on top of it trying make sure my friend is having a good time with me despite my kids & feeling guilty the whole time because I can't. It's like childbirth, if you are too far removed, if it's been too long since you've done it, you forget how hard is was. I email my friends because no one can hear your kids screaming when you email, email can be started, stopped, started, stopped & even finished 4 hours later because with kids you don't even get 15 minutes to finish a project. Hasn't anyone ever wondered why preschools setup different child activities every 15 minutes? I have another Mom friend with 4 small children like myself & we just know - If we call each other and this is not to "chat" but ask when the school meeting is or when the library is having story hour that if the kids get too roudy we just say "gotta go". I can't remember the last time I had a conversation where I just talked. Although I can't remember that last time I had 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep either. So while all you non-Mom's, Mom's who work or Mom's who have children over the age of 8 lest forget or don't know what is like to be a "stay at home" Mom - please be patient with us because as soon as our little ones get older & less demanding we'll be back, hopefully with avengence.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Anonymous from personal experience.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Anonymous also... additionally, Tacoma doesn't sound the least bit understanding about parenthood and is perhaps not included because she wants her best friend to maintain the pre-children friendship, rather than becoming part of her evolved life and allow the friendship to change/adjust accordingly. A Mom doesn't always want to hang with friends as if they were still single and childless, but would readily invite their friends over to their home or maintain the friendship while including the new members of her life.
ReplyDeleteIf you are a friend with a friend who has kids. YOU have to make the sacrifices as well, plus being understanding. one of my 2 best friends has a kid. I talk to her like 1x every couple of months. I'm lucky to get 5 minutes of her undivided attention. I see this friend maybe 2x a year. As her friend I accept this is the way it will be for a while. It never occurs to me that she would be lying to me about being busy. I know she is with the 1 kid when I'm on the phone with her. My friend has no cell phone, and has no internet. So if I want to talk to her, I have to call or if she calls me during times when she isn't at work, or at the store, or not chasing her toddler around. I called just yesterday and her little one got up from her nap as I called. I told my friend I'll call back later after she got her little one a snack, and did the potty thing. Not to mention talking to her when she had to keep telling the little one that no she can't have mama's coke is a bit hard.
ReplyDeleteAlso Tacoma had to have been talking to her friend to get info that her friend is busy. (btw best friend is used so lightly theses days) So I agree with Carolyn's response. Some people can't multi task as well as you.
Tacoma needs a slap of reality and a lesson in empathy and not their selfish ways.
Wow, I'm so sick of moms laying the entire responsibility for maintaining friendships on the other party. The reality is that moms chose to be moms and they now choose to be poor friends. Then they turn to people Carolyn Hax (most accurate name ever as she's a hack) to validate their poor behavior.
ReplyDeleteWhat an insensitive blanket statement. I'd like to think that my friends try to understand me instead of judging me for making my best attempt to juggle my life in a way that doesn't conform to their selfish wants. We all do the best we can and to say that mom's lay the entire responsibility on the other party is plain ridiculous and insensitive. I haven't heard one word about how the 'non-mom's' are making efforts on the part of the relationship. Doesn't it go both ways???
DeletePersonally I thought Carolyn's answer was spot on!
ReplyDeleteI am the one mom (who also works full time) amoung a group of friends without children. I am also now a single mom. We keep in touch with texts, emails, and facebook posts between the occassional visits. In some ways I have more time for my friends now because of generally having my kids at their father's every other weekend. In other ways I have less time as my kids get older and and are in activities where I might see them even on weekends when they aren't staying with me, such as sports tournaments. Some of my friends disappear when in new relationships and reappear when enough time has passed or when the relationship has ended. Some of my friends disappear when their careers take off and they too reappear. All in all we are a pretty forgiving and considerate group of friends. We all chose something- jobs, men, children. I'm understanding when I get told they don't want to hang out with me if I have my kids while I expect them to be understanding when I say I can't join in something because I will have my kids and choose to not get a sitter. We see each other feast or famine in this manner, but we are respectful of each other's choices and lives and I think that point has been missing in a lot of these posts.
ReplyDeleteI just read this article today on a friend's Facebook wall. I am single and my circle of friends includes a married one and a married sister. This column made me pretty angry. I feel this column gives women the idea that b/c they are now moms they don't have to work on their friendships anymore. What I don't get is why married friends make plans with other married people, and not me, even though I continually remind them I am happy to meet them where they are--be it dinner at home or a park.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't call me once in a while now and find out how MY life is, why would I ever stick around until your youngest is school age when you will supposedly have time for me again?
I so agree with you anonymous. It is difficult to believe that a mom can’t find value in their single friends – enough to find some time to hang out with them. You are right, as soon as the mom's kids are in school who knows what could be happening in their single friends’ lives, such as maybe getting married or starting to have their own kids. Then as soon as the seasoned mom is “ready” to start being friends again, maybe their “single” friends won’t be interested any more. I think us moms can do it. If our single friends are willing to hang out w/ us, even if it isn’t the same way we used to “hang out,” maybe we can be a bit creative and take the effort to spend time with people we value. The idea is our friends are important to us and can help us become a better person. I can understand your frustration.
ReplyDeletePS I too am not a phone person. It is almost impossible to have a conversation w/ someone on the phone w/ kids in the background. And, yes, if I am talking to someone who has no kids, they do get irritated if I stop to say something to the kids like don’t feed the dog your apple or don’t touch that glass or something like that. I e-mail or text people (usually after the kids go to bed) or try to keep updated w/ them on Facebook. Yes, I so agree, Tacoma was a bit selfish, wanting her friend to hang out with her like it used to be, and so is her "best friend" now turned "mom" by using her kids as an excuse not to get together. It does take two to make a friendship work. And being a mom, it takes a lot of creativity on how to include others in our life. It is busy, but it does get lonely and we need our friends. Be creative, have your friend over for dinner, chat when your kid is sleeping, go to the park together; it is nice to have a friend around doing the kid thang. Meet your friend at 8pm at the coffee shop down the street. Let your husband take over for an hour. It takes two to make a friendship work and it does look different when one of the friends is a new mom, but it can work. We need our friends.
ReplyDeleteYou are only getting one side of the story here. The mother in this situation could very well be spending time connecting with friends but just not this one. And I don't blame her, Tacoma comes off as judgemental in her question, not earnestly looking for an answer to help her understand her friend better. My BF and I are still BF even though she has two kids and I am only just having my first in a few months. It was hard sometimes, esp at first, but I had faith in our friendship. Now she is a supermom and her kids are easy going enough that we do get time together, usually at parks or the zoo or at her house. It has changed our friendship, but not in any material way, except to make us closer that we have been able to weather life's changes with understanding and patience. Tacoma doesn't sound capable of that based on the way the question is worded.
ReplyDeleteMy BF dropped off the face of the earth after her first kid, I couldn't call her because the kid would be sleeping and she couldn't talk because any sound would wake the kid. She invited us to Great Wolf Lodge but oh wait, we are sharing a room and the kid wakes up at 5:30am, we turned down that invite. She chose to have kids, they are her priority - as they should be - I resent it but there it is. I KNOW why people with kids don't have time, but as others have said you MAKE time for the things you care about. The article states that when a mom has 10 minutes to spare she chooses to have time to herself, well there you have it, she's made her choice. So be it, I have other friends with kids who are able to spend time, even though yes, less often but they make the effort, Tacoma's friend is not a good friend, she is not making the effort and friendship is a two-way street.
ReplyDeleteBut just as you said she chose to have time to herself, you also chose not to go on the trip. When you said no, did you suggest another event or outting to go on with your friend? If I truly want to get together with someone and they or I say no to an event or invitation somewhere, I try to find another time when we can get together. Simply saying no to an invitation, while I can understand why you did say no, without suggesting an alternative because you would still really like to see them means the ball gets dropped and the friendship fizzles. There is no one party at fault. SAHM's are not good at doing things without having to consider their kids or initiating activities to do with friends without kids, but friends without kids typically do not show interest in the kids either. Just my thoughts..
DeleteI so agree with you, anonymous, it is a choice. We all see that having children is a big time commitment and we can't do it all, but a friend is a valuable relationship and we should invest. There are ways - it is not as much time as before and the friendship will look different, but it is a two-way street for sure.
ReplyDeleteI was going to write something here which was meaningful, long and explanatory but as I am a stay at home mum I don't have the time, sorry......
ReplyDeleteWhy is a mother to a baby or toddler or preschooler - stay at home or working - not entitled to ten minutes to herself? Why must she contact a friend the momentshe has the single chance she'll get all week to wind down. The only reason I have any time to myslf - the ONLY reason - is because I warok. That itme is called lunch. If I were a stay at home mother, I wouldn't even have that. As someone above stated, give us some time and we'll get back to you, but right now, other things demand - and I absolutely mean the word "demand" - precedence.
ReplyDeleteYes, I know, "me" time is precious and like gold. What do you do w/ your kids? Do you take them to the park? The zoo? Why not invite your single friend to join you? Do you watch Modern Family on Wednesday nights or Good Wife on Sundays? invite your friend over to watch it with you & she can bring over the snacks. Maybe she can take her lunch over and join you for lunch while stay-at-home mom is putting together p&b sandwiches or spooning baby food to your little one's mouth. Be creative. The friendship might look a little different, but why should they wait for us to be ready to be a friend? When we are finally ready to be a friend then our single freinds will be getting married and having kids and then they learned from us that we can't have friends during that time and then we are old and grey and life has passed us by when we are finally both ready to be friends - then we have aches & pains to blame for not getting out. Sure, friendship looks different than before. Although, it does take two for a friendship to work & if your friend can't hang out with you while your kids are at the park, or where ever, and only wants to go out for drinks and dancing at night and can't bend and do kid-involed activites, then the relationship will be an extra challenge.
ReplyDeleteWow, I hear a whole lot of bitterness on both sides. I think it comes down to the fact that it is really hard to be a Mom of young kids and try to maintain all the relationships and even lifestyle that you had before. And as a friend who does not have kids, you can feel like you are being rejected. Nothing is that simple. A bit of understanding from both sides would go a long way. Of course you shouldn't drop friends when your priorities change but you also need friends who can understand the shift. I think the hard thing is that life hasn't changed for person without children, but life has radically changed for the Mom. Whether you want the change or not, the arrival of children (or a new boyfriend, husband, sickness etc.) changes your relationship pattern as well but that's just life. Both need to make an effort but the childless person needs to have a little compassion.
ReplyDeleteI agree that we need to keep friends but I am a stay at home mother now after working in the education field and I will say that staying at home is a whole heck of a lot harder than working outside of the home and I will agree that there's times I wish I wanted to call my friend because I do miss them but that extra little energy or the thought that 5 seconds into my conversation I will be interrupted with the mommy calls it's almost like why? why make the effort and put somebody else through that for myself through that when I know that within 5 to 10 seconds I will be attending to someone elses needs. not all mothers are the same I will say that but the majority out there can feel that most of the time when there is a silent moment or a few short seconds or moments those are your times don't take that away from yourself and yourself should come before your friends when you have those times. your friend without kids need to understand and you need to be honest with them and tell them.
ReplyDeleteI think the artcle was taken out of context in some points as well as the question taken out of context. I feel it is a good question as well as a good answer. The question does not cover the LIFE of a mom and the answer does not COVER the life of a mom. She said at the beginning that for moms with YOUNG children it is a constant go go go. I agree that when a mom finally has time (at first) she wants to just have her own thoughts and maybe even no sound. I also think that moms who have true friends would not go to an artcle to asked the question but instead approach the friend and ask what they could do to help the mom so that she does have more time to spend with them. Or so that they had more time out. I also feel that if the mom was truely a friends she also would reach out and ask for help or except the help that is offered. But lets face it we are all human, we all have our opinions and way of life. This does not make someone elses life wrong. If you see a friend you want to spend time with help her there is your time there if you want to be around her. Stop spending time comparing either way and take the time to help each other and pray for each other. :-)
ReplyDeleteThis unsolicited article has inadvertently made its way into my life and now on my screen like a home intruder. I am compelled to comment because I too, am the “single friend” whose best friends have had children. There is no way of completely understanding what the ever so beloved mom goes through on a daily basis, being on the outside of the sorority window, looking in, but a friendship, especially a good one, nurtured for decades, is a two way street, and requires ongoing nurturing, albeit with a different formula. (pun intended). A best friend is just that. You don’t just drop them like a sack of potatoes because the weight of their expectations is bogging you down. After all, those friends have been there for you through thick and thin, been to all the parties and events they can cope with, and still smiling and happy to hear from you. Speaking to Tacoma, I am more than sure she went to her friend first, before turning to Carolyn. That’s irrelevant to the issue, truth be told. Yes, when a mother has 10 minutes to herself, she’d like to spend them alone to have time for herself. However, those moms should realize that those friends, as understanding as they are, also have needs, feeling and emotions and eventually, will move on and turn their backs on their friends. Everyone needs love and wants to feel needed and wanted. The choice to have children propels a woman into a new realm, one, where they too need to understand the new and changing needs of their single friend. That mom friend should prioritize her 10 minutes and perhaps send a 20 second text, or make a 5 minute call, instead of cutting out articles, scanning them, and posting them on Facebook in those 10 minutes to herself. Perhaps then, she wouldn’t find herself in a situation where her single friends feel neglected. A little effort goes a long way, and if moms want to keep their close circle of friends, from all areas of life, then they need to communicate and acknowledge what life they left behind. If not, they’ll thyemselves with no friends, and just a bunch of mommy groups. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThis unsolicited article has inadvertently made its way into my life and now on my screen like a home intruder. I am compelled to comment because I too, am the “single friend” whose best friends have had children. There is no way of completely understanding what the ever so beloved mom goes through on a daily basis, being on the outside of the sorority window, looking in, but a friendship, especially a good one, nurtured for decades, is a two way street, and requires ongoing nurturing, albeit with a different formula. (pun intended). A best friend is just that. You don’t just drop them like a sack of potatoes because the weight of their expectations is bogging you down. After all, those friends have been there for you through thick and thin, been to all the parties and events they can cope with, and still smiling and happy to hear from you. Speaking to Tacoma, I am more than sure she went to her friend first, before turning to Carolyn. That’s irrelevant to the issue, truth be told. Yes, when a mother has 10 minutes to herself, she’d like to spend them alone to have time for herself. However, those moms should realize that those friends, as understanding as they are, also have needs, feeling and emotions and eventually, will move on and turn their backs on their friends. Everyone needs love and wants to feel needed and wanted. The choice to have children propels a woman into a new realm, one, where they too need to understand the new and changing needs of their single friend. That mom friend should prioritize her 10 minutes and perhaps send a 20 second text, or make a 5 minute call, instead of cutting out articles, scanning them, and posting them on Facebook in those 10 minutes to herself. Perhaps then, she wouldn’t find herself in a situation where her single friends feel neglected. A little effort goes a long way, and if moms want to keep their close circle of friends, from all areas of life, then they need to communicate and acknowledge what life they left behind. If not, they’ll thyemselves with no friends, and just a bunch of mommy groups. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteSome "friends" balk at the idea of a lunch date that now includes high chairs, picky eaters, diaper changes, cold food and constantly interrupted conversations. Yes, as a parent I can tell you this is our lives now and we chose to have children. We love them more than anything. If you force a choice between my kid and a friend, then you just lost a friend. These "friends" may also not realize that asking questions like this sparks seeds of resentment for someone who has free time sans-kids.
ReplyDeleteGuess what? Now that I have kids I'll find new friends from daycare, school, kids soccer, etc. that also have kids and can share our joys and pains, laugh at each others horror poop stories, and offer real insider advice to help us cope with everyday trials.
So, to all the single people out there, I'd say grow up, it's time to accept that people are different with different priorities which may not include afternoon martinis, wine drinking book clubs, or other after-work social activities. Some of us have responsibilities beyond ourselves. It's called family. And believe it or not, you came from one too. Your mom and dad did the same thing. Get used to it, choose to change if you wish to be a part of it, because the parents have moved on. You are more than welcome to tag along on this journey and I would hope you can. But minimally you must realize that the game has changed and your old drinking buddy swapped beer mugs for bottles, and it's likely to stay that way.
To the "annonymous" person who wrote at 10:59am, are your single friends post pubscent girls in highschool, or in college? Or have you seen too many Girls Gone Wild infomercials? Just because someone is single, does not mean they too dont have familial responsibilties, a demanding career and other activities, that dont include manicures and trying on a myriad of heels in their hallway mirror! You must not have many really good "friends", if you have put them in quotations. That's insulting, and at one point, you too, were single, or married without children. Were you not significant then? The comment about having a friend ask you to choose, is ridiculous! Thats like asking to choose between a parent and a child. NO one would even insinuate something so absurd. Everyone reaches that stage at different times. So to your point, does that mean, the couple who is desperately trying to conceive for years but arent as blessed, lesser people to society and their other friends with child?? What an awful blanket statement towards single people, who "need to grow up". I dont have children, not becuase I dont want them, my path in life has not yet brought me to that point. I am in a serious relationship, and am unversity educated, have a career, well travelled, and my world orbits my family, specifically my mom and dad! I organize food drives, and give my time to people in need. The rest of my time goes towards my loved ones, not towards an Apple-tini! You'll find new friends now that you have kids? What a wonderful example to pass on to your own children. To teach them that good people who have been by your side for decades are expendable and replaceable because they dont know where to buy the best organic formula. Its THOSE friends that will rush to your side for days when you have an ailing parent, who will plan your birthday one month in advance to make you feel special, and will run to the other side of the earth when you're in need. Your soccer mom friends and the like are great and necessary, but once your commonality expires, so will the friendship. I guess, you'll just move on and find yet, another group of friends. How transient and meaningless. Your post just made me feel So BLESSED for having the friends that I do have, mommy, single, and otherwise, as they dont share your narrowminded and outright callous view of people and friendships! What a great relevation! Thanks!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you!
ReplyDelete