Thankful and Content, At Least for Now

We arrived at 1 am. The air was a frigid 29 degrees.

We woke the kids up; pulled on our sweatshirts, the eldest child of our two managed to zip up a broken zipper in pitch dark; and we grabbed our bags and hunted for our one bedroom cabin in a non-moon lit night.

The boys pulled their red and yellow-green, $5.00 Target-special suitcases among the pine needles and dirt while the oldest in his unabashedly, over dramatic tone of voice announced to the world that he was so cold and this was "the hardest thing I have ever had to do!" Of course our cabin was located in the most obscure location, off the beaten path, and I'm pretty sure that our arrival woke many a sleepy visitor.

I’m still really not sure how we found our little spot in the darkest of night.

Being Close to Nature Makes One Thankful

We woke to the morning light all geared up for the chill, and as we looked up, once we were in the fresh air, we saw the big boulder that rises nearly 5,000 feet above the valley floor, cut by a massive ice mass many moons ago. Half Dome in Yosemite, California is an amazing piece of rock to look up to at any point of the day. The trees around us were dense and the vibrant colors abound. The waterfalls were peaceful and the land was a beauty to behold.

I have to confess, a great way to be kowtowed to thankfulness is waking up to nature's beauty. What a great place to be on Thanksgiving vacation. I was so thankful for God's creation and I was reminded of all the other wonderful things in my life that I was thankful for.

Suffer From Discontentment

Now, as my husband will confirm, I suffer from what is called, "discontentment." I just can't live where I want to live, I just can't be completely satisfied with my job, I'm just not where I want to be at this age, and for every year older I turn I just wish I was a year younger. Sometimes it is difficult to have a clear vision, a bigger picture as to where I am today and why I should be thankful.

Not A Moment Too Late

Today, on the last day of November, I thought I better sneak in this post about Thankfulness before it turned midnight of the next month. It was not my intention to write this post on the last day of the month, I just couldn't write it earlier, because I've been sick with the stomach flu.

Let's Be Specific People

Which leads me to what I am thankful for. Now, please beg my pardon, I'm kind of tired of hearing all that sappy stuff about "how wonderful my husband is," and "I have the best family." Not that I'm not happy for those people, because frankly, there are many out there who are in abusive relationships or who are isolated from their family. I know, but let's just add some more specifics to our thankfulness.

I confess that we did the traditional go around the Thanksgiving table and share what we were thankful for last week. You know, family, friends, food, and God were the top items on the list. It was my oldest child who changed things around a bit. Here is what he said in a nut shell:

"I am thankful for those who have gone before me and have never given up. I think of Walt Disney and how he was rejected for his ideas and yet he never gave up. I'm thankful for my dad who never gave up and became an architect…. I'm also thankful for my brother and how he surprise tackles me and how he looks out for me. I'm thankful for my grandma and how she has taught me so much about life and how things work. I'm thankful for my mom for taking such good care of me and for scratching my back when I am sick…."

What I Am Thankful For

He went on, and I was pretty sure he could be a speech writer. It also made me think about what specific things I was thankful for:

• Since my husband was sick the first two days of vacation, my oldest child on the day before Thanksgiving, me the day after Thanksgiving, and now my youngest child on the last day of November - we are thankful for our health. Yes, I'm thankful for our health. We are not struck by disease, cancer, or any other long-term ailment. This fact is something to be immensely grateful for.
  
• That I was able to give birth to two boys during this day-and-age and not in a covered wagon, because frankly, the boys and I may not have survived. As much as I would like to be al'natural at giving birth, my body was not built to push children through that pelvic area. I am forever thankful for the doctors and medicines that bring in life safely.
  
• Humor. My husband has quite the wit and my sons can crack the jokes and I love to laugh. I don't have the advance humor to be able to make others laugh, but I'm good at laughing with others.
  
• I'm thankful for Christmas parties, because that was when I met my husband 14 years ago.
  
• And I am also so very grateful that God had the foresight to direct several people to write down what they witnessed and then directed others to put all those stories together to form the Bible and leave us with a message of love.
  

In Spite of Discontent
For all those things I’m discontent about, the above things I’m thankful for puts everything in perspective. Okay, what are you thankful for?

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Seattle: The Land of Lattes, Ferry Boats, and Down-To-Earth People

I have been wanting to travel to Seattle for about twenty years. I've seen "Sleepless in Seattle," and watched "Fraser," as well as the swooping aerial views on "Grey's Anatomy," and I've been sure the city has been calling my name.

The rain makes me happy and I don't mind the perpetual grey clouds, and I also love the winter attire of boots, tights, and coats. But here in San Diego, well I just can't remember the last time it rained and if I wear my favorite, boots, tights, and skirt combination here in sunny San Diego by afternoon I'm overheated and have to go home and change anyway. Forget about getting J.Crew's wool-blend ribbed tights because their is no use for it around here.

(And just to let you know, living here in sunny Southern Cal I only own one pair of shorts and I don't enjoy wearing sun dresses. I feel so exposed. I'm not a summer-weather-attire type of girl, but oddly enough, can withstand high temperatures without feeling miserable - the very reason people think I could not survive any other place. )

So last weekend I finally got to experience Seattle on a surprise trip. As you might have read in my last post, my husband swept me off my feet and took me on a celebratory weekend away to an unknown place. The place? Yes, he took me to Seattle. I have, after all, been moaning about not being able to go to that far north western city for quite sometime now and I think he thought it was high time to take me there.


And we went. Arrived on a sunny day. There are a few details I observed about this grand city just south Canada:

• When it is sunny, it looks different than a sunny day down here just north of Mexico. One does not need sunglasses and the rays are a tint of orange-red, and sparkles from glimmer of water fresh from a recent rain.
  
• There is not much fashion and I only saw one person wearing the tights, boots, skirt combo. Come on people. Perfect weather opportunity. The North Face jacket and the Nike running shoe seems to be the attire for the city. We went to see an evening movie and only observed the above combo and reflected that in San Diego tennis shoes are mostly only worn when running or playing a sport. Oh, and we were there on a Friday night - date night and chance to wear your best gigs.
  
• Department stores and hotels have their thermometers set at a high temp. Yes, it's cold outside, but the minute you walk inside it's take outer layer off time (seriously concerned about their heating bills). Observation: in San Diego there is not much of a temperature change from outside to inside. Many stores don't even have air conditioning and if they have a heater, it is set low enough so that people can keep on their sweaters or jackets.
  
• Where are the 7-11 and five-and-dimes stores? This ain't no New York City folks. No joking around here. There are no billboards or flashing lights on buildings and later I figured out why there is not those conveniences stores on every corner.


• Speaking of every corner, on one street corner my husband and I saw three different Starbucks from one vantage point. There are so many coffee shops. Unlike New York City where cafe's can claim they have "NYC Best Coffee," Seattle is vying for the title, "The Best Coffee In the Entire World." No messing around with their lattes.


• Not that I observed so many of them, it is just that the homeless were really bad off. I live in an area of freely roaming homeless and I'm rather familiar with who hangs out where. But those who are on the streets in Seattle looked seriously destitute. One lady had a sign that said something like, "I have two small kids and I just got laid off. Please help me." She was actually sobbing with big tear drops coming down and her face contorted in desperation as she shakingly held up her sign up. One evening we saw a homeless sleeping in the a door entry in a down- sleeping bag. He looked scared. Would he make it through the night? On the news, it said that shelters were running low on food. There was such a need.
  
• Those Seattleians are not only proud of their coffee, but also of their ferry system.
  
• The city keeps going on - not like Beijing or anything, but it is much bigger than I ever expected.
• We were both very surprised to observe quite a few smokers! I thought this city was one of the healthiest in the US so we were both amazed that smokers were abundant. We conclude that it might be because it was cold outside and smoking kept a person warm - around here most smokers were the young rebellious types.

On our way out, we hurried to the airport only to find we were seven hours early (uh, a bit of my easy-going husband's oversight) so we signed up for stand-by on a flight in two hours. We went through inspections and I was pulled aside for a jar of jam we bought at Pike's Place. I put it in my larger bag and went back to check in as baggage. When I came back through the line, I took off my belt, boots, coat, scarf, and, after the instruction of the baggage inspection person, took off my precious necklace.

The necklace was a large glass heart hanging from a silver circle band that was given to me as a mother's day gift last year. I set it on top of all my things and pushed it along on the conveyor belt only to watch it fall off the stack onto the belt and then through the rollers to the tiled floored into shattered pieces. The manager came over, wrote up the report and handed me the paper to file for a claim. I told the manager that my heart was broken in Seattle.

Who knows if I will ever get the chance to go back to the beautiful city with the greener than green lands and the nice down-to-earth people, but now that I'm back here in Southern Cal I'm trying my very best to embrace what I have here and enjoy the sunny, warmer weather. My tights, boots, and skirt attire, well I can appreciate them from afar and save them for another trip to another place. Until then, here’s to the perpetual sunny days and 70 degree weather here and I will continue to love and admire Seattle from a distance. Until the next visit, thanks Seattle for your lattes, breathtaking aerial views, comfortable attire, and beautiful city. You should be proud.

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It's Anniversary Time

Our wedding anniversary is November 2 and every year I just love celebrating it! We have a tradition of surprising the other with a weekend full of events. It is not like we had any examples of our parent’s celebrating theirs, I can barely even remember what month they were married - oh yes June. And it wasn’t as if we set out to create a tradition, it just happened.

When our first anniversary came along, my husband, Clif, said he would plan the celebration and not to worry about it. Sweet! It fell on a Sunday, um since we got married on a Saturday the year before (but you figured that out I’m sure), and we made a weekend of celebrating. No kids, a great year, why not.

So, we spent the Saturday enjoying the sun (yes, the first week of November here in San Diego the sun is usually out, shining, and bright and I wore a short black mini-skirt and short sleeve shirt. Shamelessly. Yes that was pre-varicose veins) at La Jolla Cove. We had a picnic, played some Frisbee, and wrote in our journals together on a bench overlooking the ocean (those were the days - now neither one of us keeps a journal). So, I thought that was it for the anniversary celebration and that was fine with me. I was hap-peee.

Then, I can't quite remember how this next part worked out, but I think we went to eat dinner and we were walking through La Jolla and we saw this cute hotel we had never walked through before. (Note: I have this weird fascination with hotels and I also worked as a front-desk clerk through college and just love the idea of people coming and going some where - I know, it's weird. Still would like to work at an airport.) Anyway, Clif says, hey why don't we check this hotel out? So we walked in and he waltzes up to the front-desk clerk and says that we would like to check in! Check in?! With no bags in hand, my husband turns to me with a quirky smile on his face and says, "Don't worry Pretty Girl, I brought your toothbrush." Well all right-y then.

The next morning over our complementary breakfast on the top terrace of the hotel, we also discussed each of the points in our wedding vows (we wrote our vows ourselves so we knew each one of them) or as we refer to as "our covenant." We would talk about how we could do better or how we are doing well on each one of the points of our covenant.

Our first anniversary celebration paved the way for the next 12 and that is how we started our own tradition as a married couple.

We decided that he would plan out the odd numbered anniversaries and I would take the even. Let me tell you girls, he out does me every time. I just can't surprise him the way he does me. He is so creative and I hate to say I'm just a little too predictable.

Sometimes we stayed at a hotel sometimes at home, but we always asked a kind couple, without children, if they wanted to watch our kids. They are the only ones who want to take ‘em.

We've had some good anniversary celebrations among the 12 and well some only “okay” celebrations. Some years we were so tight on money that just getting to the movies or going on a hike was a big treat. (We are both big-time movie buffs and love the whole MOVIES' theme.) Some disappointments were when it rained out our picnic, we went to a little town for dinner to find it closes after dark, we missed a boat, the surprise destination trip slips out of the mouth of a family member, and some others I can't remember.

Some good years were the weekends away to Catalina Island and San Francisco, as well as the Sea-doo excursion in Mission Bay. Another big one was our ten-year anniversary where I managed to put together a surprise anniversary party for Clif depicting some of the features of our original wedding reception.

We never give each other gifts and we NEVER give in and tell the other person where we are going. We are very good at keeping the destination a big surprise. The more creative and the more they are caught off guard the better.

But the good or not so good anniversaries always adds to our memories and they each are a reminder that we are still together and we will survive through life's travails. And each year we always (well not always, but we sure do try) talk about our covenant and how our marriage and relationship can grow in the coming year and how we can communicate and become a better team.

Our 13th anniversary was last week and it was Clif’s turn (odd numbered anniversary) to plan a weekend celebration. The only weekend that we could get away this month is next weekend. I’m so excited. Clif has something planned and he is keeping it a real good secret (he says he really doesn't know what we are doing and will let the wind take us where it will - but I don't believe him). I’ll tell you when we get back what he contrived for our 13th wedding anniversary celebration! Just to be away with him and have his attention for more that an hour is treat enough for me.

What are some of your marriage traditions? Family traditions? Or traditions that you have observed that you want to establish in your marriage or family one day?

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Let's Weigh In Ladies

Let's face it, ladies; we are not content with our own bodies: too short, fat, skinny, tall; hair is too straight, long, or grey; hips too wide, boobs too big, butt too small, or stomach is not flat enough. Do we put pressures on oursevles to look a certain way because of our perceived notion of what "others" expect us too look like? Or is it that we are so influenced by the barrage of photos of "perfect" women in every media format or because of the constant "How-To-Look-Better" stories in our magazines and talk shows? Why can we not just feel relaxed in our own bodies?

What is Normal Anyway?

All those beautiful ladies who not only are on the front cover of magazines, but modeling clothes in the magazines and online, all look of "normal" size. They absolutely look flawless, actually. But when you go out in the world - a trip to Disneyland, a bike ride along the boardwalk, or a walk around the block, those ladies that grace the covers and display our clothes reminds us they are not the norm. According to the question and answer site, Cha Cha, “50 percent of American women are size 14 or larger.” “The average waist size of women between the ages 18-30 is 29”. The average American woman wears a dress size of 11-14; according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Now that is the average of all women short or tall. (Although, I have to admit that the moms at my kid's elementary school don't fit into the "average" category, but that is a different story for a different time.)

Granted, I also just read an article that mainstream departments are now labeling clothes a size down so women will feel better about wearing a 10 when they usually wear a size 12. They now have created a size 00 for those petite women who weigh just over 100 pounds and are tired of shopping in the children’s department.

Model Fired for Not Fitting Into a Size 2

A couple of weeks ago I was feeling sick (sore throat, coughing, tired bit) and went into work late. My special treat was that I was able to watch some of the Today Show (I love the Today Show!) and caught Ann Curry’s interview with former Ralph Lauren model Filippa Hamilton. Standing at 5’10,” weighing 120 pounds, and wearing a size 4, Hamilton claims she was fired for not being thin enough. She started modeling for Ralph Lauren when she was 15 and she has maintained her 120 pound weight for the last ten years. When I was 15 I weighed 115 pounds, wore a size 1 and let me tell you I was not attractive – honestly looked sick and emaciated. I also had not developed into a “womanly” shape by then either. Filippa said the sample size has now dropped down to a size 2.

Did you get that?! Those gals we see on the cover of magazines and promenading the most recent fad are taller than the average women and wear a size 2!

Trivia: the average height of a woman is 5 feet 3.8 inches

The BBC Interview

During my lunch hour last week I was listening to the BBC "World Have Their Say," and they were interviewing a fashion designer, an editor of a fashion magazine, and a model on the topic, “Do you want Fantasy or Reality in Women’s Magazines?”

It was such a great interview and I love it when people from all over the world call in and share their opinions. The interviewees all did agree and pointed out that if you are trying out for the basketball, volleyball, or swim team there is a size or look that is required such as tall or muscular or what have you. Even if you want to be a doctor or lawyer, you need to have the credentials to apply for the job. This idea also applies to being a model, according to them.

The fashion designer on the radio interview was currently on site of her fashion show, also agreed that she just wanted to portray healthy looking women. The model who was being interviewed was starting to list all the side effects a women underweight (and was interrupted) went through such as no menstrual period for one (I don’t know the others. Do any of you?). It is not healthy when a woman is underweight and she is not portraying healthy women.

The interviewees also stressed that the women on the runway and in the magazines ARE real women. In the end they all agreed that allowing women up to size 6 would be acceptable.

Here is what one person commented on their site:

Justin in Iowa October 15, 2009 at 14:27
I don’t think its a matter of wanting fantasy or reality – how about what looks good and what doesn’t? I think an unhealthy, emaciated, stick thin woman looks less attractive than a healthy, curvy woman. Everyone has their different attractions, it would be nice if magazines and fashion recognized this. Right now, the only look is thin and unhealthy, and that is simply un-attainable for a large majority of women out there. And they shouldn’t feel like they need to fit that image.

Thank you Jason!

The Fashion Show
When I was in Australia at age 18 years old I helped behind the scenes of a fashion show. I was to help the models put on their clothes. They shamelessly took their clothes off in front of me and I zipped and hung clothes for the next two hours. I listened to the models talk, “did you see so and so’s bottom? She needs to loose weight. She can’t hide that any more. Did you see so and so’s whatever and how big it is?!” Like it was such a tragedy. I knew then I didn’t want to be part of that industry because I knew I couldn’t handle my own nor someone else’s criticism of my own body.

Glamour Applauded for Photo of 'Real' Woman
In September Glamour ran a photo in their magazine that gained them so much attention. It was a picture of a model “who's become known as ‘the woman on pg. 194’ -- 20-year-old Lizzi Miller, an avid softball player, belly dancer and plus-size model.” She stands at 5’11” and weighs 180 pounds. “I’m healthy and I work out; I live a healthy lifestyle. This is how I look; I embrace it.”

“One reader wrote to Glamour saying, ‘Get this hot momma off of page 194 and put her on the cover!’ Another reader said, ‘Thank you for showing a picture of a BEAUTIFUL woman who has a stomach and thighs that look like mine! I have NEVER seen that in a magazine before.’” (msnbc)

Let’s Be Healthy and Support People for Who They ARE!
Here is the thing ladies, babies are being born, cities and people are being threatened by terrorists, our healthcare could be better, family members are dieing of cancer, children are laughing and playing at the beach, the sun comes up and goes down, and God reveals his beauty everyday. Why then are we (me so included) so consumed with our body image? If we eat healthy and exercise regularly we should not care what size or weight we are. Let’s grow in love more with people, let’s support our fellow women, let’s help the people on the streets, let’s be good citizens and be more concerned about the bigger picture than being consumed with our bodies. When it comes down to it, we love people for who they are not for what they look like. Let’s support one another, strive for healthiness, and STOP worrying about our weight and size.

What do you think about the images of women you see in magazine, catalogs, and TV? Are you content with your body size?

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JCREW Video

Nothing to do with anything, I just like JCrew.

"So Rude" and Other Comments to Avoid by Using Etiquette

We think people would just naturally know how to respond to situations without offending another, but I guess the beauty of human beings is our variations. Take for example, etiquette. People have different responses to situations and many do not realize that one’s reaction to things do require a proper response and our lack of considering others really does have an effect on the impressions someone has on us. In some cases the responses to one’s lack of consideration is often, “How rude!”

How can we avoid someone thinking that we are rude? By following some simple etiquette guidelines:

1. E-vite.
This online personal invitation is a great tool. When you receive one, I recommend responding right away. If you don't know if you can go to the event then just reply “maybe” with an explanation you have to check your calendar or talk to your spouse or whatever it might be the reason. But here is the thing, reply something at some point the first week you receive it. The invitee can see each time you view the e-vite. What is really rude is when you view the e-vite a couple times and never respond. It makes the invitee think you are just checking to see who is coming which might determine your reply. Don't think the invitee can't see what is going on here. If you don't respond at all, I will just say, "How Rude."

Last February, my husband and I threw an open-house party showing off our fixer-upper home we had been hiding and working on for over a year. I was surprised how many guests didn't reply to the e-vite or who replied and didn’t show up or those who canceled last minute with no reason. We had a great party, but I was amazed at how many people didn’t reach back out to us. A non-reply gives me the impression that they do not care enough to reply. Here is the question: should we drop unresponsive guests from our e-vite list for future parties?

2. Ending a Conversation.

Ending a phone conversation gracefully is important. If you have been talking for the last ten minutes to a friend and the comrade has been listening all that time and then you say, "Well, I got to go, I'm late for my meeting," well that is not very nice to your friend. She/he wasn’t the one keeping you. You were doing the talk’n. Maybe at the beginning of the conversation express how much you love hearing from this person, but you have to go in ten minutes and you will call this person back at such and so time so the other can talk too. A good way to close a conversation without making the person feel bad for keeping you from something is just to say, "Thank you so much for calling. It was so good to hear from you. We'll have to touch base again soon." If the person then starts talking again and doesn't realize that you are closing the conversation, then say, "I would love to keep talking to you, but I have a meeting clear across town so I need to go. We'll talk again soon."

3. What NOT to do in the Office.

In Amy Vanderbilt's "Complete Book of Etiquette" she gave a list of things not to do in the office such as: (a) Don't eat at your desk. Eat in the break room. (b) If you do eat at your desk put a napkin over the key board and lap. (c) Don’t heat up leftovers in the office because of the odor stinks up the office and makes it seem unprofessional.

In our office, we fail each of those etiquette tips. We eat at our desk, no napkins draping over the keyboard, and yes we big time heat up leftovers and anyone who walks in the office has to smell it the rest of the day.

I do have a few things to add to the list to NOT do in the office (a) Talk with your mouth full. So disgusting. Yes there are some in our office that will take a bite and then start talking – not even trying to swallow or apologize for the behavior (b) Walk around the office eating. I can't even take a person serious when they are eating their sandwich as they walk from desk to desk. (c) Call out for a person from across the office and not even bother to get up and go to them (or use the phone), (d) Talk loudly from desk to desk across the office. (e) Walk around the office without their shoes on. These are a few of my office-behavior pet peeves.

4) Responding to E-mails and Voice Messages.

(a) Reply to e-mails within 24 hours. If you are having trouble with your e-mail going into trash or deleted folders, then check those folders daily to make sure you haven't missed an e-mail. (That is what happens to me, and yes sometimes I forget to check, but I sure try.) (b) Return phone message in 24 hours! If you are in a business and do not respond to e-mail or voice messages in a certain time period, then you may be considered incompetent and if you don't respond to personal correspondence you are just perceived as a person who does not care.

So let’s pick it up a bit and try and do our best by taking effort to be considerate to others.

What other etiquette guidelines can you think of that people should observe? What lack of etiquette or other behavior annoys you the most? Please share so we can all learn what NOT to do, because we don't want to be rude!

Here is an interesting article about etiquette written in the Australian newspaper (click here) and a blog called "Simple Etiquette" (click here).

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"Let's Get Real-About Life" Discussion at Cafe 976

Well the time has come for me to go out there and start speaking. I am a bit nervous and not sure who is going to show up, but I need to start. The place is booked, the postcard is printed, the announcements have gone out, and there is no backing out now.

I know many of my readers do not live in this area, but for those who do, you are invited to my first discussion at a cafe in Pacific Beach, CA. And for those who do not live in this area I would also love to come up and lead a discussion in your area if you are up for reserving a spot and inviting your friends.

Oooh, scary, but exciting.

Please click here for the information. I hope that you can come and join me on Tuesday, October 20, @ 7pm!

Let's Get Real-About Life Discussion
Event Details

The Barrage of Papers and The Threat of Takeover

School has begun and the paper takeover is a very likely threat.

Although there has been a significant decrease in paper due to our community's effort to cut down, we still receive so much paper coming through our front door and it's such a challenge to to keep our house in order and avoid the ignored stacks of papers.

How do you keep all your paper's organized? From the teachers' parental requests needing a signature, to the receipts of daily purchases, to the timeline or family tree that is in due in a a couple of days or weeks, to the invitations to birthday parties, or to the schedules and lists that might need to be viewed several times in one week. How do you keep organized?

Do you have a central wall or section of the house that enables school work to be organized? How do you get your sons or daughters to events on time? With the multiple fifth grade activities planned, weekly soccer practices and games, drama plays, to the blast of activities the kids may have, how do you keep organized? Please share with us your tips!

How do you keep track and get your kids to daily events as well as stay on top of all the paper inflow from your family's daily living as well as your kids' school work? We would love to learn from you!

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