Why I Went to the Midnight Show of Harry Potter

My husband started reading the Harry Potter series to my son when he was in second grade. He even added his own animated version with different voices for each of the characters. I started filling in for him at Book 3. Each of us quickly were captivated by the story, the characters, and the eloquent writing.

How We Came to be Fond of Harry Potter

My son was eight years old at the Book 7 release in July 2007. The local library put on a fabulous Harry Potter event complete with Harry Potter trivia games and the appearance of the Night Bus. That day people came out in droves, dressing up as Rita Skeeter, Hagrid, Dobby, and many other minor and some major characters. Two different tv stations interviewed my son and he was on that night's news. At midnight that night, my husband and my son also went our local book store for the book's release.

Read to Your Child

It took a year and half for my husband to read all seven books to my son and now that four years have passed my son has read the series seven times and last summer he read all seven books in one week's time. Our entire family have also watched all the movies and read all the books (except my youngest who is currently reading book 2).

Midnight Release

So when we found out that the final movie was to be released on Friday, July 15, 2011, a summer day with no school the next day, we knew we had to be part of history and see the movie at it's midnight release.

The Critics

Now I saw a lot of status updates on Facebook Thursday expressing how baffled they were that people would be sacrificing their precious sleep time to be standing in line for hours just to be there for the midnight release when they could have been home sleeping and wait to watch the movie at a decent time. They wondered, "what's the point?"

Why I Wouldn't Have Gone

Now if I didn't have (1) kids, (2) a kid that was completely infatuated with the Harry Potter series (3) read all the books myself or (3) the ability to survive a day without eight hours of sleep I too would not have shown up for the midnight showing either.

Making Memories

Why not be a part of making memories for our kids? Why not be a part of history in the making? Why not sacrifice sleep to do something that will be down on your kid's top ten things they have done before they were 20. Why not?

I'm all about making memories for our kids - that's why we take them to places like Yosemite or Disneyland. Here it is in our own backyard (so to speak) and a perfect time in our kids' lives, why not be a part of making memories? My husband was little when he was able to be in line for the opening of Star Wars Empire Strikes Back. He tells our kids that he was there and they just can't believe he was able to be a part of a day of history. Plus, while we stood there in line, granted we were not standing in 100 degree sun, my son noticed that everyone was happy and having such a great time waiting for the movie. The fans united.

Another Midnight Showing?

There will be more book and movie releases coming out in our future, but there may not be another moment, another book, and another movie quite like this one for our family. We may never go to a midnight release of a movie or book again. Why not seize the moment and be a part of something big; making memories with your children.

But yet again, my son and husband are in the process of reading "The Lord of The Rings" series so maybe we will be awake for "The Hobbit's" release next year! Maybe. Until then....

Great Finds at Trader Joe's

My family and I just love shopping at Trader Joe's and it is a big bonus that we live just a couple blocks away from one. As regular costumers of the store we still keep finding new and yummy (my apologies for using this way over-used word - but it is fitting) foods.

This is what it says on their site: "The thrill of discovery? We believe you can never get enough of it. That's why we are dedicated to continuously creating exciting, delicious products that you can discover at your neighborhood TJ's."

So if you shop at a Trader Joe's in your town, what kind of great finds have you discovered lately? Here are some of mine:

• Applesauce Crushers ~ I took my older son to the store with me and he doesn't usually look around, but on that particular day he discovered these crushers. They come in a tube and have a twist top. It looked healthy enough so I went ahead and bought it. Turns out both my boys love it and it is perfect to put in their lunches because it doesn't require a spoon or take on a soccer day so they can eat between games. They even like the carrot one! Here is what Trader Joe's has to say about their item:

Enhancing the convenience of the consumption of applesauce has challenged applesauce purveyors throughout the ages. We’ve crushed that challenge. How? With our Applesauce Crushers. We’ve taken all natural applesauce and packaged it in unique pouches that allow you to squeeze, squish, crush the delicious fruit sauces straight into your mouth. Yes! Right into your mouth – no spoon is necessary. Made just for us in France, these unique snack pouches are perfect for lunch boxes, briefcases and slip into a decent sized pocket with ease. Kids love to crush ‘em! And could there be a more fun way to get a good supply of Vitamin C? Doubtful. Each package of four 3.17 oz. pouches of Applesauce or Apple Carrot Fruit Sauce Crushers is $2.99.

Serving Size: 1 pouch, Servings per Container 4
Amount Per Serving: Calories 50 Calories from Fat 0

• Baker Josef's, Semi-Sweet chocolate Callets (for baking, melting, & nibbling) ~ If you are a chocolate chip and dip in peanut butter eater, this is for you. They are callets firm enough to dip into the peanut butter and requires no spoon. There is also a chocolate mouse recipe on back that I want to try.

Please share with us some of your finds at Trader Joe's or any other interesting food speciality store in your neighborhood.

The First Week of School & Other Indicators of Growing Up

It doesn’t seem so long ago that I took my eldest child to his first week of kindergarten and here this week, in a blink of an eye, I have released that same child to his first week of middle school. How could that be? How can time pass so quickly?

Here are two articles that I wrote about that very experience of releasing my child to kindergarten.
Article 1. Article 2.

The memory of that chubby boy whose pants never stayed up and he showed his little butt crack all day, who hated to color and loved to sit and read about Tacky the Penguin and Horton Hears a Who, now meets his friends at 6:50 am and rides his bike to school. He no longer is chubby, but his legs are skinny and his body is trying to stretch and grow out of it’s child-like build – although his face is still cute and round , it still reminds me of that same five year old from six years ago.

For the past eight years I have escorted him to his classes, waited for the bell to ring and saw him off to class and waited at that same door for him to come out. It was difficult to release him to school when he was in pre-school and kindergarten and now it is difficult to release him to moments of freedom, time away from me at middle school.

He loves his moments of freedom, riding his bike with friends away from parents and then meeting his friends after school riding back to his friend’s house. On the first day of his new found freedom he and his friends decided to ride their bike to a local neighborhood park after school and then onto a friends house in the neighborhood. They lost track of time. I waited 45 minutes for them. No call, no text, no message of his whereabouts. They stayed together and stayed within the close-knit neighborhood, but saying I’m used to walking him to class and picking him up from class, this new short-leashed freedom will take getting used to for all of us.

One thing I realized about having a child of drop offs and pick ups, my son doesn’t know the concept of time. When he stepped out of class at the end of the day-there I was. Soccer practice finished and there I was to pick him up. Drama class started and there I was dropping him off. I have gladly escorted him through his life and now I must release him to his own responsibilities. He needs to get to school and then to six different classes and then to our after-school meeting place all on his own accord. This time in life is when I must trust in him and the lessons my husband and I have instilled in him over all these years.

My son enjoyed his first week of school and welcomes some of those challenging classes, but he was surprised by one aspect of the middle school students: their salty language. On the first day of school, his friend was called a double cuss word. When students stub their toe they shout out exploitatives. Even in casual conversation they will drop the “d word,” the “f word,” the “s word,” and whatever other questionable words. Cussing is all around on campus and no one is there to shut them up. A fight might disputes, I’m sure a teacher will be there to break it up – but other than that our sixth graders are away from the comfortable and secure elementary school campus. And we all know middle schoolers use foul language more than the rest of the world. Why? Because they are pretending to be all grown up with their new found freedom using “grown up” words and yet they are revealing their immaturity with inappropriate language. (So, I can't really afford to send them to private school and I'm not of the proper makeup to homeschool, so my children must learn at home how to survive such situations away from home.)

The first week of middle school, or kindergarten, high school, and certainly the first week of college for that matter, is a reminder that our role as parents are very important and all those years of hovering, correcting, and loving will reveal themselves (we hope and pray) when our children are released to those moments of freedom and enabled to make choices on their own.

What challenges or milestones have you experienced lately with your child(ren)?

Horton: There's a tiny person on that speck that needs my help!

________________________________________

Horton: I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.

Morton: [sighs] An elephant's faithful one hundred percent.

Horton: That's my code, my motto.

_______________________________________

Katie: In my world everyone is a pony, and they all eat rainbows, and poop butterflies.

Horton Hears A Who - movie

"Tacky was an odd bird, but a very nice bird to have around." ~ Tacky the Penguin

So When Can Our Kids Do That?

During the first year of our child’s life, we pretty much know what to expect our child to be doing each month: when they should be lifting their head, sitting up, eating solid foods, standing, crawling, walking, and then talking. Each stage is rather well documented.

Now, they may not have lifted their head as soon as the guideline suggested, but they may have lifted it a bit before or soon after and it is nice to have some sort of “guideline.”

With my older child as an example, he talked before he walked and he didn’t walk until he was 18 months old. He was talking as he was crawling around the house – come to think of it that sounds kind of creepy. And I have to admit, he has not stopped talking since.

The next few years are not too much of a mystery as to what our child will do either. There are magazine articles, blog posts, and online essays completely dedicated to the early stages of a child’s life. Then something happens at about age five years old. Not so much is written about that age and up and not so many parents’ are talking about what stage their child is in at that point.

So I would like to know when we should allow our kids to do certain things and have certain items.

When are our kids ready for:

• taking their own shower

• making their own breakfast or sandwich

• packing their own lunch

• choosing their own clothes

• being alone in the house and for how long

• riding their bike alone for how long and how far

• wearing makeup

• having a cell phone

Please share with me when your child or niece or nephew or grandchild was allowed to do these things. When do you think they are ready?

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Do You Want to Be My Friend - Valentine?

Happy Valentine's Everyone!

Sorry for neglecting all of you since my last post, but I have been busy preparing my house for a party.

Valentine’s Day has marked some significant moments in my life: the key to our very first house two years ago and shared chocolate and conversation with some fabulous girl friends.

Every year I throw a Valentine's party for my girlfriends - even though my husband and family do nothing to celebrate the day together. That’s right, we don't give each other chocolates, flowers, or fight the crowds for a dinner out - although this year I made them a special breakfast and they found special treat on their plates. It's my girlfriends who get the special attention for that celebration.

‘The sending of Valentines was a fashion in nineteenth-century Great Britain, and, in 1847, Esther Howland developed a successful business in her Worcester, Massachusetts home with hand-made Valentine cards based on British models. The popularity of Valentine cards in 19th century America, where many Valentine cards are now general greeting cards rather than declarations of love, was a harbinger of the future commercialization of holidays in the United States.”

Valentine’s Day was re-created by the card company to verbalize our love to our sweeties. I was married a month before my 30th birthday so I understand what it is like to wait for our honeys to come into our lives. Although I know many who had to wait a lot longer than I did, I still can relate and want to reach out to those who may be lonely are still waiting for that someone special to come into their lives.

I started throwing these parties ten years ago when I found a truffles recipe in the Real Simple magazine and I thought it would be fun to invite my friends over to eat them and then started throwing a party every year since (except for two years after we bought our fixer-upper home). I don't make the chocolate anymore (it really is not that easy), although my oldest child gave me a Ghiredelli book on how to make chocolate treats last year and I still need to try a recipe out.

At first it was easy to throw these parties and girlfriends were actually excited about it. As years went by, it was more difficult to attract the gals to come on over. This year I invited just about all the girls in my life and even sent a "Save the date" e-mail, yet there were just a few who could get away on their busy day.

So why do I throw these parties every year for my girlfriends? 1) because I love and value the females in my life and they have been such great examples to me over the years, 2) there really are not too many opportunities for women to get together 3) I wanted to create a place for women to meet other women and get to know others outside their bubble world and 4) I think women get locked into their husband's and children's schedules and don't make time to do things for themselves.

We live in a post-college area near the beach where parties happen spontaneously. I'm sure they don't send out "save the date" e-mails and give their friends three weeks to check their calendar to see if they are available.

I remember the days when my roommates and I would spontaneously get together with other friends at 10 pm. When we are young and had fewer responsibilities, we tended to leave our schedules open and not make any decisions until last minute. Once we are married, we check with our husband’s schedule. When we have kids we make sure they are taken care of and fed before we leave them to their dad or babysitter. And then, as our kids get older our schedule gets even more complex: Our children need to complete their 70+ minutes of homework and then make it to their sporting games, music lessons, and play practices on time. Our husband's schedule becomes more packed with work and extracurricular events - for some reason they get busier as we get older. It becomes more of a challenge for women to take two hours out of their day for themselves. Our kid's schedule and then our husband's schedule seem to come first.

So at least for just a day, let’s get together and celebrate our girlfriends. We might be single, married, divorced, have one child, or several children – we can all still have moments of loneliness wishing they had someone who could relate to them or just get a chance to talk. We learn so much from each other. We support one another. We can relate to each other. Let’s get out and let us gals just be gals and not have to worry about someone else's schedule.

Happy Valentine's Day to my girl friends. Thanks for being you!

Teaching Our Kids' Survival Skills

The way I see it, there are three techniques that parents seem to take to teach their children how to survive out there in the world.

1) Hide them in the house. Keep them away from "bad things" out there in the world. Limit their influences.

2) Let them experience life, but with a parental guided hand. Let them have play dates, get on the computer, and read edgy books all under the influence of the parents watchful eye.

3) Let your kids just get out there in world and learn. If they have questions they know who to ask: their parents.

Yes, one and two might seem a little extreme, but there is a version of all three that I see parents take. My husband and I seem to take the number two route. Let's talk about each one.

Keep Them Hidden From "Bad" Influences
The first one, well I understand where they are coming from, really I do. They don't allow their kids to read Harry Potter, or get on the computer at all unless they are pre-approved sites, and they might be going to a private school or home schooled. The parents limit their child's play dates and rather have friends come to their house and rarely if ever allow their own children on sleepovers at other peoples homes. They might believe that if their children are around those kids who might be "bad" influences then their child might fall into those influences because they are not old enough to know better.

I get you. Sometimes I just want to hover over my kids and not let them out. Keep them naive and innocent until the time is right seems to be more of my tendency then my husbands.

Let Them Experience Life - Under The Parent's Watchful Eye
The second technique is what we have found ourselves following. This theory is to teach our kids what to do when they are in a questionable situation. We talk to our kids constantly about topics that might be considered "too early" to talk about. In the bathtub when they were young we talked to them about who can touch them and where. Early folks! My husband's big button is no smoking and no drugs. We show our kid's pictures of people who smoke and tell them life stories of what happens when people take drugs (not using the scare technique, just real life stuff). We talk about how later kids will ask them if they want to try such and such and how they should respond and why. We let are oldest son read "edgy" books, but guess what, we read them before he does and we discuss them along with him (still needs to be kid friendly - we have to be careful in this area because our oldest child has been tested in college reading level). We talk about what words to say and not to say and why each word is bad and not appropriate to say. We talk about every situation we can and what to do when in such and such situation.

Now don't get me wrong, I still hover. There were four ten-year old boys and two seven year old boys at our house to celebrate the last day of school and for about half an hour they were on YouTube listening to music and watching music videos. I trust my oldest son, but I didn't know what two of the other friends would watch on the computer - especially when two young boys were watching on! I was hoovering for sure. I stood behind them watching their every move. I told them to get off a few videos and gave them boundaries of what they could watch. Then my oldest said, "I am the one who will control the mouse" - taking over the situation. I was so proud of him.

Let Your Kids Get Out There and Learn
The third method seems to be what most of our parent's choose for us. We had to come home at sun down and we were allowed to play all over the neighborhood. (Who heard of play dates anyway?) Our parent's knew the neighbors, so running around with the neighborhood kids all afternoon when are parent's are inside was quite a common practice growing up for many.

As an example, one afternoon when my husband was just a young boy, his mom noticed from the kitchen window that a little boy was picking on him. She brought her son into the house and said, don't let him pick on you, go back out there and fight him. She didn't call the boy's parents, she was teaching her own child how to survive out there the way she knew how.

Okay, so we all do it differently for different reasons, but what I have discovered is that parent's Do do it differently and we need to honor their decisions and not criticize and judge if we do it differently. We can all learn from one another.

Which method do you usually take and why?

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Teaching Our Kids About Money

I didn’t know there was such a science to giving kids' allowance.

The Chart

My husband and I started giving an allowance to our oldest child about a year ago, now eight, (update: he is now ten) and had set up a complicated chore sheet so whenever he accomplished putting his backpack on the hook or throwing away the trash, then he received a checkmark. How many checkmarks he received at the end of the week would determine how much money he would receive for his allowance. At the end of the first week, we were already tired of tracking his daily accomplishments.

Allowance Separate From "Chores"

Later I was talking to a girlfriend about our efforts and she had said her husband had done a lot of research on giving allowance to their daughter and they had set up some system of setting money aside, giving to charity, and teaching her how to use her "spendable" money wisely. I discovered that allowance could be introduced to kids as young as two or three and it is suggested to be separate from “chores” which is a family responsibility. Geez, we thought we already blew it and we had just begun on our journey of teaching our children about money.

Financial Health

We work hard to make sure our children are emotionally and physically healthy, but what about our child's financial health? “A parent is the most influential teacher in a child's life - especially when it comes to money,” claims Susan Beacham in her award-winning “Healthy Finances” column in the Chicago Parent Magazine. She continues, “When you teach children they have choices about what to do with their money, you begin to teach them self-discipline and how to delay gratification.”

Get A Piggy Bank

To my surprise, there is just a swarm of information on teaching our kids about money on the Internet, but they all seem to start off by recommending getting our kid(s) a “Piggy Bank.” So there are all kinds of piggy banks out there and not just the one slot kind anymore. Now they are more of a learning tool and Money Savvy has several versions with four slots which allow our children to determine if the money will go to “save,” “spend,” “donate,” or “invest.” The Sharper Image has a robot that talks and says things such as “I’m hungry, please fill me up,” or if you take any money out it says, “I hope you have a good reason for withdrawing your savings.” Beacham says, “Teach your child that they have four choices for the money in their lives … and the child who learns this lesson will do more with their money than just spend.”

Invisible Money

Terri Cullen writes the “Fiscally Fit” column for the Wall Street Journal Online and points out that our kids are just not as familiar with the hard currency of money these days because of “the declining visibility of cash in American society.” She indicates that it is “even more difficult to teach children about such an abstract concept as managing money. Today, even the smallest of transactions take place electronically. You can charge a burger and fries at Wendy’s … or wave a Speedpass ‘wand’ at the pump at Exxon.” Nan Mead, director of public affairs at the National Endowment for Financial Education in Colorado, says, “There’s an increasing abstraction in teaching children about handling money because kids don’t see parents go to the bank and put money into a savings account,”

A "Knowledge-Based Ecnomy"

Chairman Alan Greenspan at the 33rd Annual Legislative Conference of the Congressional Black Caucus in Washington, D.C. in 2003 remarked, “a strong and effective system of education is one fundamental way to strengthen our economy and raise living standards, and education about personal finance that helps consumers of all ages meet the challenges and demands of our increasingly knowledge-based economy is one important component of such a system.” Maybe long-term money education will help our economy in the long run, but also help our kids currently to control instant gratification and be able to give to others readily.

A Dollar More Each Year

Moneyinstructor.com recommends introducing money early in our kids’ lives and suggestions giving an allowance of one dollar for every year of age every week. In our household, we have set it up that we pay our five and eight year old when we get our paycheck. I go down to the bank and withdraw their allowance in one dollar bills. On their wall at home, pinned indiscreetly behind their closet doors (ssshhh, don’t tell anyone), are three envelopes labeled: Saving, Charity, and Personal. When the kids receive their allowance they put 20% in their Savings envelope, 10% in Charity, and the rest go in Personal which is theirs to spend whenever or however they choose. About twice a year we put their “Savings” into their saving account we set up for them at the bank and they can not touch this money (saving for college any way we can). Their Charity money can go to any charity they choose which usually involves helping another child.

More Info

If you want to learn more about how to teach your kids about money, I would suggest going to Money Instructor (moneyinstructor.com) or Money Savvy Generation (msgen.com) for more information.

Together we can teach our kids how to manage their money and just maybe, as Alan Greenspan points out, to learn economic principles so that they can help their country when they grow up. (published in La Jolla Light - January 2008)

What tips or ideas do you have about teaching your
kids about money?

I Don't Agree With You Carolyn Hax on "Why don't friends with kids have time?"

There is an article floating around out there from Carolyn Hax's column "Tell Me About It" titled, "Why don't friends with kids have time?" Even though this column appeared in the May 2007 Washington Post, it has somehow been resurrected and is becoming an infectious email sensation among moms all over. I searched for the article online and discovered it was is a common conversational piece on other people's blogs as well. I read other comments from those blogs and Facebook posts and as far as I can see, I am the only one who adamantly disagrees with Carolyn Hax's reply. Here is the article:

Dear Carolyn: Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group... OK. I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners ... I do all those things, too. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events); I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and
enjoy, but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a contest ("my life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks have the same questions. — Tacoma, Wash.

Dear Tacoma: Relax and enjoy. You're funny.

Or, you're lying about having friends with kids. Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.

I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some
keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.

So, because it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, cleaned, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library;
to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too
hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces checkout-line screaming.

It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.

It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.

It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.

It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything — language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.

It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand, or keep your snit to yourself.

First of all, Tacoma has a very legitimate question. She says her other friends with no kids are asking the same question. You can be a child psychologist, childcare worker, teacher, or work with kids in any other type of profession, but if you don't have kids, one really has no idea the constant demands of having children.

Second of all, although I appreciate her legitimizing all those parents out there, especially our stay-at-home-moms, but should our kids really be an excuse for not keeping in contact with our friends? Tacoma says it was her "Best Friend!" What kind of best friend just dumps her friend because she is busy with her kids?

Now, I have two boys, and I have stayed at home with them and I have worked full time and I can absolutely attest to the fact that just getting time to yourself is like a diamond - so difficult to find and yet so valuable when in possession. But, did her friend say she went to the park, library, museum, walk with her kids? Does she go to the zoo or Sea World on Saturdays? Does she walk to the store on Sundays? Now why did she not invite her friend? Of course her friend eats, so why doesn't she invite her best-friend-with-no-kids over for dinner? What is wrong with that? She could talk to her why she folds clothes, she could text her while she is in the museum, she could invite her along to those weekend events. Sure, "hanging out" doesn't look the same as it did pre-kids, but we can invite our friends into our lives oppose to pushing them away saying that there lives are just not the same as the other people lives anymore. Tacoma is reaching out! She does want to know, otherwise she wouldn't have written the letter.

Before I was married, my friends who got married before me often would exclude me from their lives. I was even in a wedding and called her a month later and she said, "Sharon, I'm married now, I don't have time for you anymore." Let's not be friends with people just out of convenience, because you are both single, both married, both have kids, both divorced. Let's keep our friends for life. It takes effort and creatively, but if they are up for it then they will join in too. How fun is it when everyone looks the same and does the same thing? Not as fun. Let's be faithful to our friends and just think what a great example you will be for your kids to also be faithful to their friends no matter what.

What are your thoughts on the issue? How do you keep up with your friendships?

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