Why is it when you are dating anyone can ask you about how it is going with you and your boyfriend or girlfriend, even when you have been dating for years. Your friend, sister, neighbor, co-worker, and even the person at the check out stand feels comfortable to inquire. But the day you get married, it is a closed subject. Oh, someone might ask if the newlyweds are sharing or if there has been any disagreements on how each squeezes the toothpaste from the top or the end, hangs the toilet paper roll from hanging over or under, or put silverware facing up or down in the dishwasher. Then even that enlightening conversation dies after the first couple months.
Why is the topic of our marriage off limits? Is it because we are too embarrassed for someone to find out how it is really going? Do we think no one goes through the same thing or that maybe someone would think less of us if they knew the real story? Or, do we all just think it's nobody's business - it's a personal matter of course? If we have it all together, if we can do it alone, why is divorce so prevalent?
Speaking of divorce, does it seem that when a friend or family member announces that they are getting a divorce it comes completely out of the blue? The declaration might catch us by surprise, because, frankly, we had no idea it had gotten that hopeless.
If it is said that it takes a village to raise a child, why do we limit our marriage to just our spouse and ourselves. Can we really carry on our marriage alone? Yes, we might seek professional counsel, but do we ever seek the support from the people around us? Now, I'm not saying the co-worker or the person at the check-out stand, I'm talking about our very close friends and possibly our family members.
Now as my husband has said, "a marriage is either growing or dieing." Let's support one another in our matrimony. We are not alone in this long journey of marriage - marriage sees not only a wedding day, but also maybe the birth of a child or children, the gain or loss of jobs, a relocation, growing old, sickness, and well our full-life stages. We change, but lets support and encourage our married friends to continue to grow together and not allow change to pull us apart. We all need each other, and we are not alone in the life experience of marriage.
How do you and your spouse keep your marriage growing or how do you encourage your married friends in their growth?