Do You Want to Be My Friend - Valentine?

Happy Valentine's Everyone!

Sorry for neglecting all of you since my last post, but I have been busy preparing my house for a party.

Valentine’s Day has marked some significant moments in my life: the key to our very first house two years ago and shared chocolate and conversation with some fabulous girl friends.

Every year I throw a Valentine's party for my girlfriends - even though my husband and family do nothing to celebrate the day together. That’s right, we don't give each other chocolates, flowers, or fight the crowds for a dinner out - although this year I made them a special breakfast and they found special treat on their plates. It's my girlfriends who get the special attention for that celebration.

‘The sending of Valentines was a fashion in nineteenth-century Great Britain, and, in 1847, Esther Howland developed a successful business in her Worcester, Massachusetts home with hand-made Valentine cards based on British models. The popularity of Valentine cards in 19th century America, where many Valentine cards are now general greeting cards rather than declarations of love, was a harbinger of the future commercialization of holidays in the United States.”

Valentine’s Day was re-created by the card company to verbalize our love to our sweeties. I was married a month before my 30th birthday so I understand what it is like to wait for our honeys to come into our lives. Although I know many who had to wait a lot longer than I did, I still can relate and want to reach out to those who may be lonely are still waiting for that someone special to come into their lives.

I started throwing these parties ten years ago when I found a truffles recipe in the Real Simple magazine and I thought it would be fun to invite my friends over to eat them and then started throwing a party every year since (except for two years after we bought our fixer-upper home). I don't make the chocolate anymore (it really is not that easy), although my oldest child gave me a Ghiredelli book on how to make chocolate treats last year and I still need to try a recipe out.

At first it was easy to throw these parties and girlfriends were actually excited about it. As years went by, it was more difficult to attract the gals to come on over. This year I invited just about all the girls in my life and even sent a "Save the date" e-mail, yet there were just a few who could get away on their busy day.

So why do I throw these parties every year for my girlfriends? 1) because I love and value the females in my life and they have been such great examples to me over the years, 2) there really are not too many opportunities for women to get together 3) I wanted to create a place for women to meet other women and get to know others outside their bubble world and 4) I think women get locked into their husband's and children's schedules and don't make time to do things for themselves.

We live in a post-college area near the beach where parties happen spontaneously. I'm sure they don't send out "save the date" e-mails and give their friends three weeks to check their calendar to see if they are available.

I remember the days when my roommates and I would spontaneously get together with other friends at 10 pm. When we are young and had fewer responsibilities, we tended to leave our schedules open and not make any decisions until last minute. Once we are married, we check with our husband’s schedule. When we have kids we make sure they are taken care of and fed before we leave them to their dad or babysitter. And then, as our kids get older our schedule gets even more complex: Our children need to complete their 70+ minutes of homework and then make it to their sporting games, music lessons, and play practices on time. Our husband's schedule becomes more packed with work and extracurricular events - for some reason they get busier as we get older. It becomes more of a challenge for women to take two hours out of their day for themselves. Our kid's schedule and then our husband's schedule seem to come first.

So at least for just a day, let’s get together and celebrate our girlfriends. We might be single, married, divorced, have one child, or several children – we can all still have moments of loneliness wishing they had someone who could relate to them or just get a chance to talk. We learn so much from each other. We support one another. We can relate to each other. Let’s get out and let us gals just be gals and not have to worry about someone else's schedule.

Happy Valentine's Day to my girl friends. Thanks for being you!

"Love Everywhere"

For the third time this month I have watched the movie, "Love Actually" (released in 2003). I just love this movie for some quirky reason. The movie begins five weeks before Christmas, the setting is London, and the movie is made and produced in Great Britain. And the clip is loaded with big named English actors and actresses.

There are seven stories (there was eight, but they clipped those scenes out) going on at the same time about love. (1) There is Hugh Grant who plays the prime minister and falls for one of the gals who serves him his daily tea. (2) There is Liam Neeson (who is the voice of Aslan in the Narnia series) who just lost his wife and his step son has fallen in love with a gal at school. (3) Kiera Knighly makes her debut (shot right before she left for Pirates of the Caribbeans - the director had strongly encouraged her not to take that "silly" movie - but she did and I'm sure she hasn't regretted it) and at 18 or so she gets married and her husband's best friend (played by Andrew Lincoln) is in love with her. (4) Then we have Alan Rickman (who plays Snape fabulously in the Harry Potter series) with his wife played by Emma Thompson and he is confused because he gives a beautiful locket neckless to his assistant. (5) Then we have Colin Firth (who played the famous Mr. Darcy in the Pride and Prejudice series) whose girlfriend cheats on him with his brother and then the Colin character goes overseas to write and falls for his housekeeper. (6) Bill Nighly (whose birthday is a day before mine and also plays in the Pirates of the Caribbean series) plays this crazed rock star who sings the winning song of the year, "If you Really Love Christmas, Come on and Let it Snow." Bill's character comes out and finally appreciates his manager as his friend. (7) And lastly, and the story line that I find unnecessary, two innocent people stand in for famous people's romantic scenes. As they stand in at these sets they fall for each other. The last story line make the movie a R rating.

At the beginning of the movie they have people greeting each other at the airport while Hugh Grant, as the prime minister of England, says,

"Whenever I get gloomy about the state of the world, I think about the arrival gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion is to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. Seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it is not particularly dignified (scene of a older couple kissing) or news worthy, but it is always there. Fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriend and girlfriends, old friends, new friends. When the planes hit the twin towers as far as I know the phone calls from the people on board were not messages of hate or revenge. They were all messages of love. If you look for it, I got a sneaky feeling that you will find that love is all around."

Okay, it is a bit sickly, but I liked it anyway. A bit naive in a way since there is so much hatred in the world (the wars and bitterness among countries and tribes), but a great reminder of the love we do have in our lives. In the movie they say things like, since it is Christmas I thought I should tell you.... So my challenge to you today is, since it is Christmas, tell someone that you love or care for them. Someone you have never told them that you appreciate them for this or that, or a loved one you haven't told them for a long time that you love them, or a friend that you haven't expressed how thankful you are for their friendship. Then let us know who you shared with this Christmas season.

The ultimate love proclaimed was announced at Christ's birth. God wanted to let us know that He loves us so He sent His one and only son to proclaim His love among us. This is what we celebrate today. May His message have special meaning to you this Christmas. Luke 2:8-14

Merry Christmas.