Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Overwhelmed

Do you ever get overwhelmed? I hear people complain how busy they are or how they stayed up until 3 a.m. working on a project, but sometimes I just think people like to feel busy so they can moan about it so others can think and they can feel real important (or is that just me being extremly cynical?). So if you are busy it must mean that you have great skills and people need you, right?

Do you ever get so busy and realize you are actually not getting anything done at all? Well, that is how I feel sometimes. My son said to me the other day, "Mom, why don't you just say NO?" It is funny that he says that, but I really don't have a problem turning someone down I just have too many things I want to do.

Now my husband and I purposely only have our children in one extra curriculum event every season, but my husband and I are personally busy too so we continue just run around in circles. We also seem to "volunteer" to be the coach, the team mom, the one to put together all the bios and photos in a memory book for the drama group, or also be the kid's classroom parent for the year.

We are active, but we purposely make sure we are available for friends (and always are kids - we have alot of fun together and try to keep our family nights). My husband and I have had this ongoing understanding since marriage that friends are important and if the other wants to hang out with some buddies, we would do what was necessary to change our schedule around to be available for them. But isn't it funny, our friends seem to be too busy to get together. And then I think, wow if they are busier than me (knowing full well others are busier), how can they function or even think?

We don't even have TV network and yet we still don't have time to do all that we want to do.

So here is the thing, how do you volunteer, pursue your goals (such as writing a book and keeping up with a discussion blog where nobody is discussing) and on top of all that exercise, (loose weight and not eat chocolate all the time to feel better?) eat right, be there for your kids, have time with God, work full-time hours, and still be sane? Let's try and discuss it here folks and let us know how you do it - that is keep sane and still pursue your goals. We are all in it together so let's learn together!

5 comments:

  1. You know what? I was going at a good balanced pace, until 2 weeks ago. Aaagh! I was WAY too over-committed and I could tell because I was wanting to go home and nap, hide under the covers, and it felt like a chore to "give." I ended up backing out of a couple of commitments, which I HATE doing... but that was my "red flag!" I knew I had to stop and re-group. It was my reminder to be more aware of my choices, so I don't have to back out of things later... instead i can be fully committed to what I say "yes" to.

    Does that make sense?

    I think our bodies tell us when enoughs enough! or our hubbies! :)

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  2. OK...so I have made huge life changes since moving here to slow Southern Oregon. I am hardly involved in anything time consuming, I don't work outside the home and I haven't signed Claire up for much. After doing all of that with my other 2 kids for years I am just burned out on even thinking about committing to any of it. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not doing enough...if I've just sort of dropped out on that part of life...if I'm affecting Claire's life negatively by not having her involved in a crazy after school schedule. I believe that the way my life is running now is much better for my health and welfare, which translates to much better for my family. I don't do well when I have too much going on - I get very anxious and frustrated and it seems to come oozing out of my very being and gets taken out on everyone around me. I have also found, here in Southern Oregon, that people seem to make more time for eachother as opposed to Southern Cal. We regularly get together with friends - sometimes impromptu (which I love - less stress) - and sometimes planned. I meet with my women friends far more often than I did in San Diego. I think people just aren't so crazy, busy here and life, traffic, etc. just takes up less of our spare time. And I also think it's a mental thing.
    That said, this week I feel a bit stressed. I got elected (not by me) to sew 6 bonnets for some of the girls in Claire's class for their Oregon Trail field trip. I have had the material for over a week. So last week I was busy in the yard (huge yard!), then out of town over the weekend moving our son, then home and making bonnets and I have company coming for Memorial Day weekend so trying to get ready for that. As I was feeling so much pressure and frustration last night, my dear husband reminded me that this is why I do not work. So that I can make bonnets for an Oregon Trail field trip and also be able to chaperone said event. He is right. Instead of grumbling I should be happy that I am home to be able to do things that are truly important to ME!
    Thanks for the great discussion topic, Sharon. It always helps me look at life just a little more closely :-) ~Suzy

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  3. I don't mind being busy and even overwhelmed once in a while - but to be constantly overwhelmed isn't fun! For me it helps to constantly reassess my commitments and goals. I want to make sure I am enjoying what I am doing in life. But I really enjoy life when I'm not constantly overwhelmed!

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  4. I don't know that I ever get overwhelmed. I do what 'has to be done' and when there's extra time then I do what also 'should be done'. Time lines, boss requests and practices (sports, cheer) for the children are on the 'has to be done list'. Most all other items are on the 'should be done list' and I do them most of the time, but no stress if it's not possible. Sometimes I see friends also overwhelmed because they 'expect' others to take up their slack. If you expect nothing or very little of others then you are never disappointed. It makes life seem a lot more easy and definately a lot more satisfying because anything anyone does is so appreciated! Those are my thoughts. What are yours?

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  5. It takes a LOT for me to be overwhelmed and I always stay committed to what I said I would do until the end no matter what. It is after it is over does it remind me to re-align my expectations of myself. My husband can take on a lot more than I, so he never has too much sympathy when I am overly busy. He just encourages me to finish strong and then re-asses after to make wise decisions next time. I can take on a lot at work and at home, but the clincher for me is when company is coming over and my house has been neglected for awhile. This occurrence can put me OVER the edge for sure. Now people say, it doesn't matter what your house looks like – but I am telling you, people notice especially if they are the clean type themselves and would never let a dirty house go. Plus, I also have a difficult time functioning in the midst of disorder, so if my house is in disorder it throws me off. The clean house and guests on top of a busy schedule - that is what does it for me.

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