Monday, February 9, 2009

What Does A Girl Need To Do To Feel Beautiful?

It takes a lot of work and money to maintain the appearance of a woman. We need to daily shave our legs & armpits, put cream all over our bodies, concealer and powder to cover up our skin flaws, add the makeup on the eyes and the careful pencil line around the lips. Not only the daily stuff we got to do, but then there are the pedicures and manicures, waxing our eyebrows, dying our hair. Then we have to watch what we eat, pay attention to if our bums are tight for the summer bikini wear. Then we have to make sure our clothes are in style and fit to our body shape. Whew. It's way too much time and money to just get out the door in the morning.

Why can't we just leave the our house with doing nothing but take a shower? My husband can get out of bed and be out the door ready for work in 15 minutes, no doubt. I don't do all of the above. I've never had a manicure and had one pedicure which was given to me as a gift and I'm holding out on coloring my hair until I find a gray hair. But I have thought about it all, and still can find myself consumed in staying up with girl on the front page of the magazine. I always fall short. (Seen the videos on what they do on Photo shop to those photos?)

Then we compare. We compare our hair, our clothes, our looks with the other girls and if we felt beautiful leaving the house, suddenly we what to hide when we see the other girls and what they did to themselves to look beautiful. We don't think about how much more money and time they spent on themselves.

Now you want to say "Who Cares," what others look like or what they think, but don't you care a bit? Why else do we spend so much time and money on ourselves?

My son is in a community play. On the first meeting when we met the "artistic team" I saw the director on the side of the stage getting ready to introduce herself to the crew. She didn't posses the "typical" director appearance, but tossed a black bobby hairdo, a blousey top, and no visible makeup. She was not only overweight, but I would have to say obese. She walked to center stage spoke into the microphone and gave her smile and suddenly I thought she was so amazingly beautiful. She was vibrant, excited, encouraging, and absolutely delightful. Later I asked my nine year old son, "Wasn't the director beautiful?" He relied, "she really is." And then he went on to tell of all the wonderful things people say of her.

Why are we so caught up on our appearance when it's how we love, treat other, show respect, and reveal joy from our lives that really is what beautiful. Now, I am not saying neglect what is important to you and your appearance, but lets take steps to work on our inner beauty.

Society is wrapped this way, our focus is so on our outward looks with all the commercials and the same looking woman in all the magazines. Then the gossip column talks about someones stomach poking out, our clothes the are too this or too that. It is easy to get caught up in it all.

What do you do to work on your inner beauty? What outward appearance is important for you to maintain? What is your view of society's definition of beauty?


  1. agreed! check out this new film:

  2. Too big, too small. Hair to curly or too straight. Height too tall or too short. Teeth not white enough, eyes not big enough, thighs too thick. We just can't get it all right at the same time. I say, surround yourself with people who will accept us just the way we are. And then accept yourself and remind yourself that beauty is not a reflection of the outward, but of the inward. Let's forget about beautifing ourselves and just try to focus on loving and helping others.

  3. Well, I typed out a big ol' response and when I went to preview it the computer deleted it - aaarggh!
    I'll make it shorter this time. I am so happy I live somehwere (Klamath Falls, Oregon) so casual and not caught up in what people wear and how they look, etc. And even though I'm 10 lbs. overweight I feel thin here because sadly, there is much obesity. I am very happy and presentable in jeans, slip-on Lands End shoes and a sweater in winter and capris, sandals and a tank in summer. If I want to dress up to go out the attire is generally dressy jeans, boots and a nicer sweater :-) I try so hard not to get caught up in what others are wearing and how thin, beautiful they are other than to admire them. I am trying, as I'm aging, to be comfortable in my skin, happy with who I am, and not get PLASTIC SURGERY! I know you didn't mention plastic surgery but I believe it goes along with what you said. In Southern Cal, I believe it's rampant and women are trying so hard to be someone they aren't. It's sad, really. I once asked a female pastor friend what she thought God thinks about plastic surgery. Her answer was basically that as long as it makes us happy God is OK with it. I have thought long and hard about her answer and I just don't agree. I believe God made us who we are "We are fearfully and wonderfully made..." and wants us to be happy with that. So then I struggle with the fact that I color my hair (my only indulgence) that not being happy with how God made me? My rationale (sp) is that dying hair doesn't require a hospital stay and I can do it in an hour :-) But, is that right?
    And your son's director... I know just what you mean about her being beautiful. She feels beautiful and happy with who she is so she is beautiful and she projects beautiful. That is my goal one day :-)
    I am especially happy here because the kids don't get caught up in how they dress. That is so important to me since I have a 10 year old daughter. They play outside in the dirt, rain and snow so they wear jeans, boots - basically playclothes. I have yet to see little girls all dolled up at school. They are focusing on being kids, not on being adults too soon. When we left Southern Cal Claire was 8 and already starting to want to be a teenager in how she looked and dressed but here that has all taken a backseat to play and fun and friends. I love the Dove campaign. Glad you included the short video from it. Thanks for letting me express myself :-) ~Suzy

  4. That is so true, Suzy. Where we live gives us different pressures. In SanDiego there is a definite style, but more casual (and less clothes). I went up to Ikea in LA (before there was an Ikea down here) on a Saturday and I was amazed how drssed up people were at Ikea on a Saturday! Chicago, NY, Seattle, and San Fran they all have there own style and it is nice to be able to dodge it and be your own person!

    You also bring up a great point about the fine line of getting caught up in the efforts of exterior beauty to the extremes of surgery. I think when our looks defines us is when it becomes a problem. When we are obessesed with it. What do others think?

  5. I think my wife is absolutely beautiful and I feel extremely fortunate to share a life with her. Sometimes when she wakes up in the morning and the only thing I can see is her face peeking out from the covers she smiles at me - beauty.

  6. i love this post Sharon, you are so right about what is really important!!! It's all about our hearts and what reflects off of them. It's so easy to get caught up with the latest trends and pampering ourselves to the end. All that goes out the door when we have an ugly heart.

    Thanks for the reminder in this blog posting to love others the way they are even if they don't have an attractive appearance. God made no mistakes =)

    xo, Brittany

  7. ooh, i like this discussion! And I even teared-up after reading Clif's post. Awww! :)

    Isn't it so true! Our hubby's and close friends love us how we are! They seem to care less if we have lipstick on, or even showered for that matter! haha.

    It's when we make a big deal about things, when we compare ourselves to magazines and media, that we draw attention to ourselves and reveal our low self-confidence.

    Yikes, convicting... BTW, I got my first gray hair this week and it almost put me into a low-grade depression... Get over it, I must tell myself! :) My husband just laughed.

  8. I really believe that internal beauty can make us beautiful on the outside! But honestly, I find myself going in and out of worrying about my external appearance. I am convinced that I worry less when I watch little TV and don't go shopping. Outside influences can be persuasive! I purposely don't get any fashion or gossip magazines since I know I will spend my time reading them and be influenced by them. I'm really glad to have some great friends who can see past the external appearance. This helps keep things in perspective:)