Overwhelmed

Do you ever get overwhelmed? I hear people complain how busy they are or how they stayed up until 3 a.m. working on a project, but sometimes I just think people like to feel busy so they can moan about it so others can think and they can feel real important (or is that just me being extremly cynical?). So if you are busy it must mean that you have great skills and people need you, right?

Do you ever get so busy and realize you are actually not getting anything done at all? Well, that is how I feel sometimes. My son said to me the other day, "Mom, why don't you just say NO?" It is funny that he says that, but I really don't have a problem turning someone down I just have too many things I want to do.

Now my husband and I purposely only have our children in one extra curriculum event every season, but my husband and I are personally busy too so we continue just run around in circles. We also seem to "volunteer" to be the coach, the team mom, the one to put together all the bios and photos in a memory book for the drama group, or also be the kid's classroom parent for the year.

We are active, but we purposely make sure we are available for friends (and always are kids - we have alot of fun together and try to keep our family nights). My husband and I have had this ongoing understanding since marriage that friends are important and if the other wants to hang out with some buddies, we would do what was necessary to change our schedule around to be available for them. But isn't it funny, our friends seem to be too busy to get together. And then I think, wow if they are busier than me (knowing full well others are busier), how can they function or even think?

We don't even have TV network and yet we still don't have time to do all that we want to do.

So here is the thing, how do you volunteer, pursue your goals (such as writing a book and keeping up with a discussion blog where nobody is discussing) and on top of all that exercise, (loose weight and not eat chocolate all the time to feel better?) eat right, be there for your kids, have time with God, work full-time hours, and still be sane? Let's try and discuss it here folks and let us know how you do it - that is keep sane and still pursue your goals. We are all in it together so let's learn together!

A Sudden Death

It started with the unexpected death of Heath Ledger on January 22, 2008. My awareness of how fragile our bodies are and that life is such a vapor was brought to my attention by his sudden passing. Heath was suffering from insomnia and not feeling well and took the wrong combination of pills - then his life escaped us in a breath. His passing actually really affected me and I'm not really sure why, because I honestly had only seen him in one of his films (and now in The Dark Knight). I listen to the NPR station in New York so I heard them reporting of his possible death early that day. I was disturbed that his life was gone when he had no intention of leaving us.

Then the beginning of this year I heard that a former co-worker's young adult son had also left this life in a flash. I remember that sweet boy and can't believe that we won't discover what he will "be when he grows up."

Last Friday another life ended suddenly. She was a first grade teacher at my boys' school. My older son had her as his first grade teacher three years ago and my younger son currently in first grade saw her in his class room the day she died. The cause of her death was not released and our minds only race to imagine what really could have happened that dark day after school. Today the children released butterflies and blew bubbles in her memory. Her parents gave their daughter's favorite stuffed animals, the Beanie Babies, to each one of the first grade students and my son named his Dalmatian after her.

On Wednesday we learned of the tragic skiing accident and death of Liam Neeson's wife, Natasha Richardson. She is only three years older than me and her kid's also that much older than my two boys. I couldn't get out of my mind the scene in Love Actually where Liam Neeson plays Daniel, a man who had just lost his wife to cancer leaving behind a son. The part where he cried and his friend, Karen, played my Emma Thompson, comforted him as he "got a grip" about the recent loss of his on screen wife kept running through my mind as a watched a clip of Liam entering the building where they held his wife's wake. It touched home once more. Life is so fleeting and precious.

Yesterday I received an e-mail that a young adult boy in a drama organization, called CYT, had died. He had been cast in a lead role in the 2007 run of the Legend of Pocahontas. The cause of death, once again, was not released. Our speculations on what had happened to such a talented boy had to halt. I didn't know him, but I was aware of the show and the talent of those kids.

The wrong combination of pills, too many pills, a bump on the head, an aneurysm, and a moment of despair and a loss of hope can all cause death in a shattering moment. Where as I see drunks roaming the streets in the wee hours of the morning, walking like zombies half dead, but still alive. We hear of the billions of dollars sold for the drugs that pass our borders yet the threat of death does not stop the intake. I know of someone who has been drinking since he was 18 and now in his 60s he and his girlfriend are intoxicated everyday by 10:00 am. I know another who has been smoking since he was 14, drinking and combining drugs and yet his heart continues to beat. People who have smoked or drank for all their lives continue to live on. Although others take a wrong turn, intake a bad combination of pills, or make a spontaneous decision to take another flight, have left this world in a moment.

Let's stop and appreciate the life that we have. Let us tell our loved ones how much we care for them, take the time to learn more about God, slow our lives down and spend time with our friends, and live life to the fullest.

I have no fear of my own death, because I am confident that I will one day be in the presence of God in heaven. Although TODAY I know that I am able to be with my husband, enjoy my beautiful boys, learn more about God, engage in great conversations with friends, write down my thoughts, and celebrate another day in this life - our here and now.

So, here is to today. Live life to the fullest. Don't postpone what you have always wanted to do for another day. Don't spend your time so busy with stuff that you can't enjoy the people in your life. And please don't spend another day without Jesus in your hearts. Live life to the fullest and do it today.

The Myth of a Balanced Life

I have heard too many people say that one day they will live a balanced life. Here is my question: can we really ever achieve a well balanced lifestyle? How long will it last? A year? A week? A day? What do we give up to have such a lifestyle?

Okay, let's say I want to be a great mom - be there for my kids, take them to all their extracurricular events, help them with their homework, cook healthy meals, volunteer in their classrooms, and have frequent play dates at our house.

I also want to be an outstanding employee - going to community events, getting the company's name out to potential clients, bringing in new clients, and being recognized at the office for my performance.

But maybe I also want to be a supportive wife - always ready to talk, an encourager, ask appropriate questions, not nag, and be there when he needs me. I also want to keep a clean house including dishes and laundry checked off my list.

In addition I want to go have weekly girl time, build friendships with moms at the kid's schools, be up to date on the latest movies and books, knowledgeable about world news, as well as volunteer my time to local charities.

And of course, I want to continue to grow more knowledgeable of the Bible by reading daily, going to church, and attending Bible Studies. Included on the list is to finish three books I am ready to write. Did I mention exercise and to be in tip top shape?

Can we really do all that? How can I do all that and not get stressed out, feel like I'm a failure if I can't do each goal well, stay connected with my kids, and not want to give on becoming a better person? I know I do want to do it at all and ideally I would like to be all that at the SAME time. So if I had a balanced life, would I be able to do it all?

I turned to the Internet to see what it had to say on the subject. I found several websites on that very issue of living a balanced lifestyle. It seems a balanced lifestyle is the destiny many pursue. Some of the sites said cut TV out of your life others said get your life and your clutter organized before you begin. On the top listed site and on it's first page on http://www.balancelifecenter.com/, the author comments:

Do First Things First- Last year, in addition to my 40-hour week job, I served as Board President, completed speeches toward my Toastmaster’s Competent communicator award, and published over 100 articles on this site. All while going through a divorce.

Wow, so what is wrong with that advice? Mister, get a clue. There is no need to be super human while going through a divorce. Eh hem. It's okay to take a break and focus on what is failing - maybe his marriage. All I'm saying here is something is got to suffer if we are going to do it ALL.

So, I stopped to think, what does it really mean to have a balanced lifestyle? My thought is that every aspect in our life is done equally well (or poorly for that matter).

Michael Phelps has a rigorous workout routine. In one web site, it sites that Michael sets goals for himself. (a bit dated site)

Our eyes are on one medium and one long-range goal: World Championships in July in Barcelona and 2004 Olympic Trials and Games.To get ready for that, we have concocted a training program that began with a fairly high-mileage fall, a 7080,000 mixture of yards and meters per week. There was also 30-45 minutes of dryland six days a week. September through December, we focused on structural adaptation. With that, we are looking to stimulate major physiological growth that will make him go faster. At this stage, we don't emphasize fine-tuning. Instead, we have spent a lot of time on endurance work, improving technical issues and gaining strength-putting money in the bank.

Can Michael Phelps really live a "balanced" lifestyle and win eight (was it more?) Olympic gold medals?

Rahm Emanuel accepted the position of White House chief of staff although he had "some reservations in him accepting the position." Emanuel has young children and "cited his family as a big consideration when making the decision." Do you think Rahm Emanuel hesitated on accepting the job knowing he would have a "balanced lifestyle?"

Tiger Woods started playing golf at age nine. Do you think his childhood was balanced?

When I was in college I started going to this Bible study that was in my apartment complex. The guy who led the study was a Political Science major and he always dug into some heady stuff. One day when we got to his apartment, he had an article sitting on our chairs that read, "Did Jesus Lead a Balanced Life?" I kept that article for such a long time, but now that I want to refer to it I can't find it. Was Jesus' life in balance? He didn't marry, he left his parents and siblings, he didn't set up an adobe, he might not have even eaten a balanced diet. Was he of all people living a balanced lifestyle?

But, I think it goes back to the definition of a "Balanced Lifestyle." What he did do, He did well. He lived a very focused and prioritized life.

Here is what I think. We can't do it all so we must:

1. make a list of what we want to do in our lives


2. then prioritize


3. focus on the top few on the list


4. prepare to sacrifice something that is later on the list


5. in a couple years reorganize your list again


6. focus on those top few on the list

So maybe we can't do everything we want all at the same time, but through our lifetime we can focus on what is important at the time.

When I had my second child I stayed home until he was one year old. Then, my husband and I realized that I had to go back to "work" if we were ever going to get out of our 700 square foot apartment. I didn't pursue my "career" job, but I accepted a position that would not add stress to my life and allow me, without guilt, to take off a day if one of my children was sick, and yet help us pay off some school debt. I needed to make this decision to take the job at the time, because a) I wanted to be available to my kids, b) wanted to get out of our small apartment. I had to make decisions and sacrifices depending on the situation and the priority at the time. I would later pursue my career path.

Another example is that I wasn't exercising much for the last couple years, because, honestly, I did not have the time to get in the shape that I wanted to get into. At the end of last year I said it is time to reorganize my priority list and put that near the top of my list. Not being a morning person, I now get up at 5:00 am six days a week and run for 40 minutes at the gym. (Yes, there are some crazies who are LEAVING the gym all showered and dressed for work when I arrive which means they got up in the 4am hour! Who is crazy now?) I sacrificed sleep.

What else have I given up now that I am a mom, a wife, a full-time employee, and a person who just wants to write? I have given up a clean house. Yes, as much as I want a clean house and have it presentable for someone to drop on by, it didn't cut my priority list and I hate to say I just can't keep up with the house and I have to accept it's condition for now. Later, it might get a little closer to the top and our friendly abode might be a little more acceptable one day.

So, in conclusion, I can not balance everything that is on my list, but I can prioritize and focus on the few while sacrificing something else.

Do you have a different definition to a "Balanced Lifestyle?" Have you managed to live in "balance" or do you think it is even attainable?

(Notice poll about a Balanced Life in the right column of this blog.)

Sites Referred to In This Post:

• http://www.gametimeworkouts.com/2008/01/olympic-training-with-michael-phelps.html
• http://www.thejournalofstudentministries.com/articles/170/1/Whatas-So-Great-about-a-Balanced-Life/Page1.html
• http://www.answers.com/topic/tiger-woods
• http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/President44/Story?id=6297764&page=5
• www.balancelifecenter.com